


Lost and Found

by leen_go (cagedchaos)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Prompt: "Found"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cagedchaos/pseuds/leen_go
Summary: Wu Fan knows exactly who he is, he just needs someone to tell him what he wants.





	Lost and Found

Wu Fan doesn’t like to talk about the first time he and Zhang Yixing kissed, mostly because it belongs to a night that he doesn’t fully remember (or want to, in any case); it had been his birthday and much to his objection, he’d been coerced into a night of tequila and whiskey.

…

In his twenty-two years of life, Wu Fan had only known one thing: academics. He graduated top of his undergraduate class and went straight to medical school, just like his parents wanted. He never questioned his future and he never wanted anything else.

Problem was, it didn’t seem Wu Fan wanted much of anything. Lu Han thought that Wu Fan was lost, that his life didn’t have direction, that he was only doing someone else’s bidding. “University’s for discovering who _you_ are, Fanfan, not just for appeasing your parents,” Lu Han had once said in between bites of terrible campus food.

“I know who I am,” Wu Fan had replied indignantly after punching his friend in the shoulder for using the nickname from their childhood. Wu Fan knew who he was. He was the son of a neurosurgeon and a psychiatrist. He was the adoptive older brother of a frustrating nineteen year old by the name of Huang Zitao who insisted on taking advantage of their familial relationship by “borrowing” money for his beer runs. He was a medical school student, and he would follow his parents’ footsteps in being the best in his field.

“You only know _what_ you want to be,” Lu Han had scoffed in response before waving down his boyfriend Kim Minseok from across the dining hall. “And even then, you don’t even know what kind of doctor you want to be.”

Wu Fan had opened his mouth to protest that it was simply too difficult to choose only _one_ specialty when there were so many to choose from but had decided instead to finish the last bites of his mac-and-cheese and leave the table so he wouldn’t have to endure his best friends’ public displays of affection with his boyfriend. Pretending to gag, he had excused himself to go to the library to study.

…

Wu Fan met Zhang Yixing through Lu Han. Lu Han was involved in too many school activities if you asked Wu Fan, and seemed to find joy in dragging Wu Fan to endless events, this one being a Dance Dance Revolution competition that Lu Han’s dance club had organized.

Wu Fan had instantly disliked the boy who clearly had no sense of self awareness. As Wu Fan watched the flailing idiot, Lu Han had explained to him that Yixing was a music performance major, specialising in guitar and Wu Fan couldn’t help slipping in a comment about the irony that someone in music could have such a poor grasp of dancing.

“It’s not like you can do better, Fanfan.” Lu Han countered with a smirk.

“Yeah, but at least I have the decency to keep it to myself,” Wu Fan replied disdainfully. “Look at him. Do you think he has any idea how stupid he looks?”

Lu Han glared at Wu Fan, “You’re just jealous that he can be himself in public.”

“Excuse me?” Wu Fan answered before getting interrupted by the ‘flailing idiot’ himself.

“Hey, Lu Han! You down for a match later?”

Wu Fan had to bite his lip from saying that he felt that Lu Han and Yixing were on very different levels and that the scales were definitely tipped towards Lu Han.

“Of course,” Lu Han said, turning to gesture towards Wu Fan, “This is Wu Fan. Wu Fan, Zhang Yixing.”

“Er, hi,” Wu Fan greeted stiffly, unsure of whether to extend an arm out to shake.

Lu Han leaned over to whisper to Yixing, “He’s going to be a famous doctor who will save millions of lives.” Wu fan kicked him for the lightly sarcastic tone.

Yixing didn’t seem to notice as he flashed a wide smile that dimpled his right cheek and reduced his chestnut eyes to slits. “It’s nice to meet you, Wu Fan.”

…

“It’s what you scientists would call an experiment, Fanfan,” Lu Han explained one day after Yixing had left their apartment, and Minseok was in the bathroom. “I have a hypothesis and I’m running tests to assess its validity.”

“What?” Wu Fan asked brusquely as he picked up the dishes and put them in their dishwasher. Lu Han had invited his boyfriend, along with Yixing over for dinner, insisting that Wu Fan join them lest Yixing feel like an awkward third wheel. Wu Fan had spent the evening shooting Lu Han dirty looks for every not-so-subtle attempt to direct the conversation towards Wu Fan and Yixing. “What craziness are you up to now?”

“I have a theory.” Lu Han continued to stand in a corner with his cup of tea, not bothering to offer help.

“Yes, I get that. Why does it involve trying to set me up with Zhang Yixing? He and I are like completely different species. Like he’s an amoeba, and I’m like, I dunno… _human?_ ”

Lu Han raised an eyebrow, “Are you calling Yixing a single celled organism? Are you calling Yixing _stupid_?”  

“Well, not stupid per se, but he’s certainly not my type.”

“Wow, type?” Lu Han laughed, “I hadn’t even realised you had a _type._ I thought your type might be like… a vial of infectious disease, or something. And who said anything about setting you two up? Are you sure you don’t just _want_ that to be true?” Lu Han dodged the roll of paper towel Wu Fan hurtled his way, “But in all seriousness, I think Yixing would be good for you, you know, make you less uptight and all.”

Wu Fan scowled, “I am _not_ uptight. And would it kill you to clear the table once in a while?” Wu Fan slammed the dishwasher door closed and set it to run overnight before stomping off to his room.

Lu Han snorted, “Oh, so sorry. No, you’re right; you’re a giant fluffy teddy bear.”

…

Yixing seemed to be like Lu Han in that he seemed to enjoy making Wu Fan miserable. The more “innovative” dishes Yixing fed Wu Fan, the more he wondered why he allowed it. Yixing was overly friendly, inviting himself over to the apartment Wu Fan shared with Lu Han (and more often than not, with Minseok as well). While most of the dishes Yixing made up were decent and Wu Fan was glad not to have to cook for himself, the privilege came with its downsides, most notable was the drastic reduction in his quiet study time.

 “Why do you want to be a doctor, Fan-ah?” Yixing asked from behind his laptop. He’d started making a habit of studying in Wu Fan’s kitchen while the actual tenant of the place studied on the couch in the living room.

“Dunno,” Wu Fan shrugged, not looking up from his notebook. He’d gotten used to Yixing being practically a permanent fixture around the house, occasionally using Wu Fan’s bedroom as his personal practice room. He’d given up on trying to get rid of him because Yixing seemed to have a habit of simply forgetting that Wu Fan wanted him out of his home. Besides, sometimes the music from Yixing’s guitar was calming on a stressful day of seven-hour lab sessions with a partner the likes of Kim Jongdae.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

Wu Fan shrugged again, “It’s just something I’ve always known I’d do.”

“Well, what do you want to do as a doctor?”

Wu Fan groaned heavily and slammed his textbook closed, grabbing his backpack from beside him, “Tell Lu Han I went to the library, _for some peace and quiet_.”

Yixing frowned, “Do you even know what it is you want to do with your life?” he managed to get out before Wu Fan slammed the door closed, shouldering his bag.

Of course Wu Fan knew what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to have a secure job that paid well, not like Yixing who would most likely end up as a “starving artist”.

Wu Fan deliberately silenced the tiny voice that argued that Yixing would at least be doing something he was passionate about.

…

“When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, just like you!”

Wu Fan chuckled and ruffled the hair of the eight year old standing in front of him in a banquet hall full of strangers. “I’m not a doctor just yet,” he corrected in a friendly tone as someone pulled the child away to talk to some other people. Wu Fan was at an event that Lu Han had helped organize that he actually liked: a charity ball for a children’s hospital. Originally, Wu Fan had declined going, since he had twenty case studies sitting on his desk at home, but Lu Han had worked his charm on Wu Fan, “This is a charity event to raise money for a children’s _hospital_. Shouldn’t you be at least a little interested, given that you want to be a doctor?”

“Well, well, look who’s actually enjoying himself,” Yixing’s voice chimed as he sat down next to Wu Fan on the banquet hall floor. “Aren’t you worried that the floor is dirty and will ruin your superbly crisp outfit?” he asked mockingly with a nudge in the ribcage.

Wu Fan rolled his eyes, “Shut up, Yixing. What are you doing here?”

Yixing shrugged, “Same as you.”

Wu Fan grinned, “Lu Han drag you to this event, too?” He searched the hall for Lu Han and found him shaking hands with some of the university’s professors.

Yixing leaned an arm on Wu Fan’s shoulder, “I seriously doubt anyone had to drag you here. I mean, I just watched you voluntarily play with a bunch of kids with a huge grin on your face that I’ve never seen you wear before.”

Wu Fan shrugged the arm off, hoping that the motion would also shake out the butterflies that had made themselves at home in his stomach when Yixing had joined him, “Well, maybe that’s because you and I haven’t known each other for that long. And why are you watching me anyway? That’s creepy.”

Yixing patted Wu Fan’s shoulder a couple of times before he got up, dusting the back of his pants as he did so. “True as that may be, I still haven’t seen you smile that widely in the two months we _have_ known each other,” he returned, snubbing Wu Fan’s attempt to redirect the conversation away from himself before leaving again.  

…

The problem with having an outgoing roommate like Lu Han was that he always made the smallest of events into a huge affair. Wu Fan knew that his luck had to run out eventually, what with his avoidance of Lu Han the last four birthdays that he had while doing his undergrad. Wu Fan had foolishly assumed that since Lu Han was working on his Masters in Anthology, he would have less time to harass Wu Fan into actually doing something for his birthday.

Wu Fan doesn’t consume alcohol in any amount, as a rule of thumb. He falls under the wide umbrella of Asians that possess a gene variant of the enzymes that promote proper breakdown of alcohol in the system, making him flush an embarrassing shade of red whenever he drinks. 

“I thought you said you weren’t uptight, Fanfan,” Lu Han whined as he waited for his pasta to cook.

“I’m _not_ ,” Wu fan reasserted, eyeing the stove with a wary eye as he chewed on a mouthful of instant noodles.

“Then quit worrying about spills on the stove and come out with us tonight.” Lu Han removed the lid from his pan and stirred with a wooden spoon. “Yixing will be there.”

Wu Fan narrowed his eyes at Lu Han’s back, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” He was glad that his best friend had his back to him, or he may have noticed the slight flush in Wu Fan’s cheeks.

“Oh, come on, Wu Fan. Your parents celebrated your birthday, so why can’t we? This is my last year here and I want to make it count. Besides, you only turn twenty three once.”

“You only turn any age once,” Wu Fan grumbled, “You only turn twenty three and ten days once too, and I don’t see anyone wanting to celebrate that.”

Lu Han turned off the stove with a click and joined Wu Fan at the dining table. “Just come out, will yah?”

“Fine, but I don’t make any promises to have fun.”

The two best friends arrived at the school pub and found that Minseok and Yixing were already seated at a square table, with their drinks on coasters. Wu Fan swallowed hard at the sight of a dimpled smile on Yixing’s face. Wu Fan remembered not taking a liking to Yixing when he first saw him at Lu Han’s DDR tournament but he didn’t remember reversing that sentiment recently. He broke away from Lu Han and marched up to the bartender, ordering a gin and tonic.

“Thought you didn’t drink, Fanfan,” Lu Han said in a singsong voice.

Wu Fan rolled his eyes; screw looking like a tomato in public, he’d much rather that than feel and act completely awkward around Yixing with his newly discovered feelings

…

Wu Fan doesn’t talk about the first time he and Zhang Yixing kissed, mostly because it belongs to a night that he doesn’t fully remember. More accurately, he likes to pretend he doesn’t remember, and opts instead to let Yixing tell the story of Wu Fan’s birthday as seen from his eyes.

According to Yixing, on the night of Wu Fan’s birthday, Lu Han had somehow talked Wu Fan into matching into matching him shot for shot. There was no talking required, though, because Wu Fan found taking drinks with Lu Han easier than facing Yixing who was constantly flipping the fringe out of his eyes.

Yixing says that drunk Wu Fan giggles like a school girl as he recites excerpts from his textbooks. (“Did you know that we don’t actually need our appendix?” He had drawled. “Yes,” Yixing had replied with an amused grin, “Everyone knows that.”) Wu Fan doesn’t giggle; he just maybe gets a tad nervous when he’s around someone he likes, especially if they’re dressed in only a tank top under an unbuttoned navy blue dress shirt.

Yixing also thinks that drunk Wu Fan is too friendly, saying hi to complete strangers and slinging his arm around people from his class that Yixing knew for a fact that Wu Fan hated. All true, but only because Wu Fan had been trying very hard not to sling his arm around Yixing’s slim waist instead.

The only part that Yixing might have completely right is that after Wu Fan had his eighth drink in less than two hours, Lu Han had decided that it was probably best if they migrated back to their place before Wu Fan got them kicked out. When Yixing had finally managed to get Wu Fan in his bed, he’d disappeared and left Wu Fan to stare at his ceiling, trying to erase the image of Yixing’s dimpled smile from his mind. Failing, Wu Fan groaned and headed to the bathroom to wash his face, not bothering to knock before opening the door on Yixing who was in the middle of taking off his shirt.

“Oh, sorry. Lu Han said I could take a quick shower,” Yixing apologized.

Wu Fan stood frozen on the spot, his hand falling from the door knob to his side. Alongside the section on lowered inhibitions upon alcohol consumption from his first year of undergrad that was reading itself in his head, Wu Fan was trying very hard to remember what it was he’d been doing in the bathroom in the first place.

Blinking himself back to the present, Wu Fan grabbed the door and swung it closed behind him and took a giant step towards Yixing, pulling the shorter man towards him in a swift motion before bending down to plant his lips on top of Yixing’s sloppily. Wu Fan had never kissed anyone before, because there has never been occasion to. He hardly knew what he was doing, with alarms going off everywhere in his head that told him that this was a bad choice, but he didn’t need to; after a brief second of confusion from Yixing, who was standing limply in Wu Fan’s arms, Yixing had responded warmly, letting his shirt drop to his feet and wrapping his arms around Wu Fan’s neck to pull him closer.

“Oh god, this was a terrible idea,” Wu Fan muttered when he pulled away after really knowing what he was doing. He was fucking kissing Yixing _in his bathroom_. He was not Lu Han, Huang Zitao, or half of his classmates. He did not do things like that. Wu Fan pulled his arms back to himself, wiped his mouth and started to retreat.

“The fuck’s the matter with you, Wu Fan?” Yixing had crossed his arms on his bare chest, and Wu Fan had to try very hard to look anywhere but at Yixing. “First you ignore me for almost the entire night. And then you think it’s okay to kiss me in your bathroom, and now you’re saying it was a terrible idea? What the hell do you want, Wu Fan?”

“I want…?” Wu Fan began, startled at having Yixing get angry, an emotion that Wu Fan didn’t even think Yixing had, only to have the words caught in his throat as he hurried to the toilet to throw up his dinner. Wu Fan had no idea what the hell it was that he wanted; he just knew he did _not_ want to ever see the disappointed way Yixing was looking at him ever again.

…

Wu Fan _does_ openly acknowledge the second time he and Yixing kissed, often wishing that this was the one that had been their first instead of the confused one in his bathroom, the one that Wu Fan had pretended hadn’t happened when he woke up the next day, the one that Yixing had pretended hadn’t happened either when Wu Fan greeted him the next morning with the same indifferent attitude as he always did, the one that had Yixing stop showing up at the apartment.

It was the day that Wu Fan had finally figured out what kind of doctor he wanted to be, and it was no surprise to him that it was Yixing who was the one who had pointed it out to him at that children’s charity event weeks ago. He loved kids and he loved seeing them smile even more. How it’d taken him this long baffled him.

“A paediatrician?” Lu Han had repeated, “ _Finally_.”

The following day, Wu Fan voluntarily followed Lu Han to another DDR event, hoping, just a little, that Yixing would finally show up in his life again. When he didn’t, Wu Fan had to remind himself that he’d gotten along just fine without Yixing before. Dejected, Wu Fan grabbed Lu Han to tell him that he was going home and started to push the doors out into the brisk evening air.

“Ow!”

Wu Fan nearly jumped out of his skin when he realised whose nose it was that he’d opened the door into. “Zhang Yixing?” He asked, not bothering to mask the excitement in his voice.

“Wu Fan? What are you doing here?” Yixing asked, still rubbing his nose.

“Never mind that. Where’ve you been lately?”

“Busy,” Yixing shrugged, and Wu Fan had the sinking feeling that the real answer to that question was that Yixing was avoiding him.

“Oh,” Wu fan answered flatly, “You here for Lu Han’s event too?”

“Yeah,” Yixing answered, deliberately walking around Wu Fan to open the door to the building.

“Mind if I join?” Wu Fan asked, trailing behind Yixing.

“Does it matter what I say? You’re just going to do whatever you want despite what I do anyway.”

Wu Fan didn’t reply to the obvious referral to the night of his twenty-third birthday.

Wu Fan ended up putting his name along with Yixing’s down on the sign-up sheet, and grinning at Yixing’s shocked expression when his name was called.

“What are you doing, Wu Fan?” Yixing asked, grabbing Wu Fan by the elbow to the side.

“What do you mean? You seemed to like dancing against Lu Han, so why not me?”

“Uhm, because Lu Han isn’t a snobbish asshole who doesn’t follow through on actions he starts?”

“What?” Wu Fan deflected, hiding his hurt under a forced smile.

Yixing sighed. “Never mind. Let’s just say I’m not exactly in the dancing mood, okay?”

Wu Fan raised an eyebrow at Yixing’s retreating back and took a step forward, grabbing Yixing the same way that Yixing had grabbed him a moment before and dragging him towards the projected screen, positioning him on the plastic dance pad before taking his place on the one next to Yixing.

When the song started, Wu Fan looked over at Yixing, who had his arms crossed and an expression that said he wasn’t amused. Taking a deep breath and trying not to focus on the small crowd behind him, he started tapping his feet out of time with the music on the four squares around him. “Come on, Yixing, don’t be such a spoil-sport.”

When the music had stopped, Yixing still hadn’t moved a muscle while Wu Fan was now breathing heavily with the exertion. Yixing narrowed his eyes at Wu Fan once the pair had gotten out of the spotlight, “Who are you and what have you done with Wu Fan?”

“What do you mean? I’m standing right here,” Wu Fan answered, between gasps of breath.

Yixing gave a reproaching look at Wu Fan. “Cut the crap. What do you want?”

Wu Fan waited for his breathing to settle back to a normal pace before answering, “You.”

Yixing swallowed, his eyebrows rising, “What?” he whispered almost inaudibly.

“You asked me what I wanted. I want to be a paediatrician. I want to dance like nobody’s watching. I want to sit on the dirty ground without worrying about my pants getting dirty. I want to be able to cook without caring about spills on the stovetop.” Wu Fan paused, walking forward until only an inch of air rested between the two, “And I want you, Zhang Yixing.”

Wu Fan waited with bated breath for a response from Yixing, who finally looked up with a cheeky grin on his face, reaching up and pulling Wu Fan’s face down towards his own, “God, what took you so long?”

…

Wu Fan doesn’t exactly remember their third kiss or their fourth, or every one after that, but it doesn’t matter much. They still make his insides swim excitedly, but he never thinks they’re a terrible idea. Nothing to do with Yixing is a terrible idea, really, even when he shows up unannounced and starts experimenting with the limited ingredients in Wu Fan’s fridge, or asking for Wu Fan’s opinion on a new composition that he srummed on his guitar. The only remotely terrible thing that had to do with Yixing is the annoying way Lu Han likes to tease Wu Fan about Yixing, who, like Minseok, should really have to start paying rent, or at least contribute to the utilities bill.  

 

Lu Han used to say that Wu Fan was lost, that his life didn’t have direction, that he was only doing someone else’s bidding. That is probably still true in a way, because he still lets Lu Han drag him to ridiculous events and he still lets Yixing feed him questionable inventions. At least now, he’d found who he was.

He’d found Zhang Yixing.


End file.
